We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
