dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
