Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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