is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
