If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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