its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
