Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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