I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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