Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
