Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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