Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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