So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
