Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
