I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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