I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize