I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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