i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let's get the cat blown out
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
