Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
