why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
