If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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