So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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