he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
