this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
