Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
