I'm so fucking centered right now
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
