Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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