was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
