I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have aggressive nipples.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
