Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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