dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
