i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize