I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
