So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
