Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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