yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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