I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
