I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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