they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
