You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
home. puking in laundry basket.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
