Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
