Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
