Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
