I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
