I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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