So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
