We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
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I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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