Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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