she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
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