I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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