He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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