Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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