Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
