so that wasnt chicken after all
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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