Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
