Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i think im in europe. pls send help
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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