How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
