O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize