Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
