Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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