i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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