Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
