So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
