there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
my penis made a compromise with my morals
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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