After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
