stop calling my apartment porn island.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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