I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
