She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
