They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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