he puts the penis in happiness.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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