I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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