Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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