There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
