is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
