I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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