dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Randomize
