What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Acid is not a monday night drug
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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