im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
